It’s 9 am and you’re staring at your screen. Your calendar is packed; emails are piling up, and you’re expected to lead a team huddle in fifteen minutes.
But all you can think about is that phone call you received last night when you found out a loved one had passed. Or a diagnosis you’d been dreading. Or you were informed of a betrayal you hadn’t seen coming.
In that instant, everything in your personal life shifted. And yet, here you are, at work, expected to carry on as if nothing happened.
You showed up today because you know full well that the world doesn’t stop just because yours did. Or because you feel like you can’t step away. Or because there’s simply no one else to hold it all together.
This article is for all of you who are doing everything in your power to keep functioning right now, delivering, leading, and holding it together through grief, illness, heartbreak, or a personal crisis.
It’s also for all you bosses, clients, and colleagues who may not realise that the person sitting alongside them in a meeting may really be hurting right now.
The immediate aftermath
For those of you who’ve only just entered crisis mode and can barely think straight right now: I need you to stop and step away. Call someone you trust and cancel all your meetings.
If you work for yourself, set an auto-reply: “urgent personal matter, I’ll be in touch when I can.”
In these first hours, your only job is to stop the bleeding and give yourself permission to be human before you try to be professional.
What comes next will be equally challenging: when the initial shock has passed, but you’re still not okay, and you still have to work.
How do you protect your steadiness, your authority, and your presence when your personal life feels like it’s in freefall?
And even if everything feels fine right now, keep reading. Because life has a way of throwing curveballs and, at some point, you or someone you work with will need this.
What a personal crisis does to your brain
If you've read some of my articles, you know I like to bring in a bit of neuroscience. Partly because it makes me sound like I know what I'm talking about, but mostly because it can be profoundly reassuring to realise that whatever's happening for you emotionally right now is completely normal on a biological level.
Say something devastating or destabilising happens, your nervous system will kick into survival mode and your body floods with stress hormones, such as adrenaline and cortisol. That's your system saying: something's not right: stay alert, stay safe.
At the same time, the amygdala, which is your internal alarm system, ramps up, while the prefrontal cortex, the part responsible for logic and decision-making, starts to go offline.
So, if you're finding it hard to concentrate, forgetting things, or bursting into tears because you can't open an attachment – that's not you being dramatic or incompetent. That's your brain prioritising survival over productivity. And maybe you're being a little dramatic.
It's also not just your mental capacity that takes a hit. Your body does too. Wide awake at 3am but falling asleep at your desk at 3pm, headaches, stomach issues, chest tightness? That's your system working overtime to keep you going.
What people often don't realise is that this doesn't stop after one week. Sometimes, even months into a crisis, these effects can linger – especially if the underlying situation remains unresolved.
If you're the kind of person who usually feels quite steady and in control, this can feel confusing and humiliating even. You start wondering: Why am I not handling this better? You're not malfunctioning though. You're reacting exactly as any other human would under pressure.
Once you understand that this is a biological issue, rather than a sign of failure or weakness, you can start to create just enough structure and stability to help you show up, even if nothing else feels stable.
Before you re-enter the workplace
Before I get into how to regain your footing at work during a personal crisis, you need to pause and ask yourself: Why am I at work right now and not at home, despite feeling the way I feel?
Having that clarity is important because knowing why you're showing up will shape how you show up.
If you're going into work because you need the money coming in, then focus only on what's essential. Deliver whatever's required and nothing more. Now is not the time for stretch goals or over-functioning.
If you're there because you crave structure, then let work support rather than overwhelm you. Lighten your calendar. Reduce friction where possible and leave enough breathing room between meetings.
Or, if work is a break from whatever's happening at home, that's okay too. Sometimes the routine can help calm your system, but just don't let it become a way to avoid whatever is happening at home.
And if you're pushing through because of guilt or pressure to prove you're still dependable, that's a red flag. Burnout often starts because of this fear of slowing down. Ask yourself: Is this sustainable, or am I just trying to keep up appearances?
If you're scared to ask for time off or a lighter workload (perhaps because there isn't anyone else to cover), then, at the very least, scale back what you can and protect your energy where possible. Pushing at full capacity when you're already depleted doesn't make you stronger or more reliable; it just increases the risk of burnout, mistakes, and longer-term damage.
How to stay functional when you're in crisis mode
Now that we’ve looked at what’s going on in your system and why you’re even showing up to work at all, here are five tips on how to stay functional in the midst of a personal crisis.
1. Control the flow of information
Your most immediate task is to determine who needs to know what, especially in the first few days when a crisis occurs.
Just to be clear, you don’t owe everyone the whole story, but you also don’t want people misreading your behaviour. If your energy is off, your output is lower, or your availability suddenly becomes much more limited, you do need to give just enough context to avoid confusion or suspicion.
In other words, you want to avoid over-sharing, but you definitely want to be proactive. Something like: I’m dealing with something personal here, and it may affect my focus and availability for a little while. I’m gonna keep you updated if anything changes, but I appreciate your understanding.
Only you get to decide who gets more detail and who doesn’t. It might make sense to share more with your manager or a trusted colleague, especially if they can help lighten the load. But for others, a simple one-liner is enough.
If you’re a business owner or freelancer, or someone without a formal team, you still need to manage expectations. You can update your out-of-office message or inform a key client that turnaround times may be slower. Keep it professional, but human.
The main thing is to stay in control of the narrative. If you say nothing, people will fill in the blanks themselves, and they’ll often assume the worst. So, control the flow of information by being intentional about what you share and with whom.
2. Redefine performance
Adjust your expectations about what you can and cannot do.
You’re not operating at full capacity right now, so stop holding yourself to full-capacity standards. Your job at hand is not to impress anyone but to protect your energy and meet your essential obligations.
This means prioritising the non-negotiables and the tasks or relationships that you can’t allow to fall apart while delegating, postponing, or dropping everything else.
If you’re used to always going the extra mile, this will feel uncomfortable. But it is necessary because pushing to maintain your usual output while you’re emotionally depleted is just going to make it more likely that you’ll crash later.
The same applies if you’re self-employed. Your business might be your livelihood, but frankly, you’re not going to have a livelihood left if you run yourself into the ground. Be ruthless about what can wait and delay all the non-essential projects. Automate what you can, and do fewer things, but do them with whatever focus you have.
3. Contain and recover
In times of crisis, your nervous system is in overdrive. One of the most useful things you can do is to create small, reliable systems that help you contain some of the internal and external chaos in your life.
This doesn’t mean hours of self-care, because most people don’t have the time or the headspace for that in a crisis. But what you need is some structure and a few things that ground you, even if only for a little while.
That might look like:
Starting your day with five quiet minutes: no phone, no email, just sitting still with a coffee or even staring out the window before you open your laptop.
Stepping outside for fresh air once a day or standing on your balcony, porch, or street for a few minutes. Smokers do this all the time, so why don’t you?
Blocking 30 minutes in your calendar to eat a proper lunch, rather than skipping food or eating mindlessly at your desk
Think of these as reset buttons or handrails for you to hold onto. It’s not going to fix whichever crisis you’re going through, but they will stabilise you just enough to keep showing up.
Also, build in space to process. Don’t carry your pain or worry all day and hope it’ll just dissolve in and of itself, because that’s not going to happen. The only way out is through.
Whether it’s through journaling, therapy, exercise, music, or simply having a cry in the car or a toilet cubicle, you need to make time to feel what needs to be felt. If you don’t release that emotional pressure valve, it will leak out in other areas.
4. Ask for specific support
By that, I don't mean breaking down in front of your whole team or offloading your life story onto a client. Instead, identify clearly who can help, how, and for how long.
If you have a team, choose one or two people you trust and say something like: I'm in a difficult stretch right now. Could you cover this work piece for me over the next week?
Be specific, be time-bound, and please be willing to return the favour when you're feeling better.
If you're freelance or solo, it might mean reaching out to a contractor, renegotiating a deadline, or asking a client to reschedule a meeting.
You don't need to share personal details, but you do need to be clear about how your capacity has changed and what specific adjustments you're requesting.
Also, don't forget about formal support. If your workplace offers access to counselling or mental health resources, lucky you. Use them. And if you already have a therapist, coach, or peer support group you trust, this is the time to lean on them.
5. Re-enter gradually
Regardless of whether you've taken time off or just slowed down behind the scenes, your re-entry into work needs to be gradual.
That means not filling up your calendar completely in your first week back. It also means not diving straight into the most complex or emotionally challenging work, and not pretending you're fine when you're still running at 60%.
If you lead a team, you do that by setting expectations early. Say something like: Hey, guys, I'm easing back into things this week by focusing on X and Y. I'm planning to re-engage with Z next week fully. You're being transparent, honest, and professional.
Or if you're self-employed, this might look like reopening your calendar in stages and pushing back a few deadlines. Saying no to new work for another week, even if it's uncomfortable. Protecting your recovery pace is part of protecting your business.
If you lead others, formally or informally, how you manage this transition matters, because whether you realise it or not, you're leading by example. If you model honest, sustainable pacing, you give everyone else quiet permission to do the same when they go through a personal crisis themselves.
Supporting someone else through a crisis
Most of you reading this article aren't going through a crisis right now. But many of you are managers, founders, or team leads, and you may be managing someone on your team who is indeed struggling.
You may wonder how to support them without overstepping any boundaries.
I advise you to start simple: acknowledge it. Don't ignore it when someone is going through something difficult at work. You don't need to give a big speech, and you can simply say: I heard you're going through a lot. I'm here if you need any flexibility or support. Perhaps that person will open up, or maybe they'll simply say thank you.
Never pry and let them decide how much to share. Instead of asking for details, ask what would help. Would it be useful to shift any deadlines? Do you want me to let others know you're out? Is there anything I can take off your plate?
Be practical, not performative and offer something concrete. Not a Let me know if you need anything, but: I'll cover the Friday meeting if that helps.
If you're working solo but collaborating with someone, such as a client, a contractor, or a creative partner, the same applies. You don't need to know the full story to show some humanity.
And sometimes, it's worth asking yourself quietly: Who might be going through something right now and saying nothing? Because so much suffering at work is silent. People hide it because they might be unsure if it's safe to be vulnerable in front of you.
Years ago, I tried to open up to my manager during a major personal crisis that was clearly affecting my performance. I barely got a sentence out before she cut me off: Work is work. We all need to leave our personal issues at home. Well, yes, thank you for that motivational speech.
I tell you, that moment stayed with me and in a roundabout way became a key catalyst for becoming a coach myself, swearing I would never ever treat another person like that.
Finding the silver lining
Even in the midst of a personal crisis, you can protect your energy, maintain your authority, and lead with steadiness – not by pretending you’re fine, but by making some thoughtful adjustments and asking for what you need.
For those of you who are going through something big right now, I see you. As sharp as the pain or the worry feels in this moment, it will soften. Your grief, shock, and emotional chaos are not going to last at this full intensity forever.
You also don’t have to fix everything today. You just have to keep yourself steady enough to get through to tomorrow.
And then, whenever you’re ready, you can ask yourself: What did this crisis reveal? What did it strip away? What did it force me to confront?
Because, brutal as they are, crises can bring a strange kind of clarity. They cut through the noise and show you what’s no longer working in your life, your leadership, your business.
If you’re willing to, they may offer a chance to do things differently at work – with clearer boundaries, more honesty and more authenticity.
So don’t rush back to business as usual. Don’t waste the pain by ignoring what it’s trying to tell you. Use it to make better choices, set new standards and work in a more sustainable way.
And if you’re carrying something heavy as you listen to this, know this: you’re doing better than you think, and you’re not alone.
There are better times ahead.
