Most professionals dislike networking. And to make matters worse, most are doing it wrong. Grabbing the odd coffee with an ex-colleague, adding a few randoms on LinkedIn, chatting to whoever happens to be nearby at a work event – yes, it’s technically networking, but it’s really just winging it.
Too many people only start reaching out once they need something: a new job, more clients, a referral, but by then, it’s usually too little and too late.
If you’re serious about building your reputation or your business, networking can’t be an afterthought. It has to be intentional and strategic in the same way an investor builds a portfolio: by thinking carefully about which relationships you invest in.
This article looks at what strategic networking really means, the psychological barriers that get in the way, and how to approach even the most senior people without wasting their time or looking like you’re climbing the pole.
At the end, I’ll leave you with one tough question that might sting a little, but could completely change how you see your network.
The psychological roadblocks
When people struggle with networking, it’s rarely tactics that trip them up. It’s psychology.
Pride and the status gap. You look at someone a couple of levels above you and think, “Why would they ever give me the time of day? My work should speak for itself.” Sounds noble, but it’s a little naïve. Because opportunities rarely go to the hardest worker. They go to the one who’s remembered, trusted, and visible in the right places.
Imposter syndrome. I wrote about that voice before [ADD HYPERLINK], the one that says, “I’ve got nothing of value to add. Why would anyone care what I think?” The truth is that you were hired, promoted, or invited for a reason and adding value doesn’t mean having genius-level ideas. Sometimes it’s showing curiosity, recognising someone else’s effort, or offering help.
Fear of rejection. Many hold back because being ignored feels unbearable. But silence from a senior person is almost never about you and almost always about lack of bandwidth.
Transactional anxiety. The worry that if you reach out, people will assume you want something. And if you only ever show up when you need a job or a referral, that’s exactly how it looks. You’ll get past this by shifting from asking to investing. Send a quick thank-you note, share an article, comment thoughtfully on a post, or make an introduction. These are deposits into your relationship bank. Later, when you need to make a withdrawal, the funds are already there.
Five principles for strategic networking
Once you’ve dealt with your roadblocks, the next step is to get deliberate. Most people approach networking far too ad hoc. They talk to whoever feels safest or happens to be nearby, which is not particularly strategic. Here are five principles to shift from random to intentional relationship building.
1. Map your ecosystem
Most of us stay comfortable with peers and colleagues we already know. Instead, map three circles: inside your organisation, across your industry, and in your growth spaces (the sectors or communities you’d like to be involved with). In each circle ask: Who has influence? Who’s doing interesting work? Then prioritise by circling three to five people who matter most for the next year and taking one genuine step to strengthen each relationship.
2. Play the long game
A common mistake is networking only in moments of panic, like a looming redundancy, losing a big client, or a missed promotion. By then, it’s too late, because trust can’t be rushed. Instead, start planting seeds early. Ask yourself, who will you want in your corner in a few years? Which peers are on track to become decision-makers? Begin showing up now with small, steady signals of support.
3. Diversify your portfolio
Leaning too hard on one type of relationship leaves you exposed. You need a mix: senior sponsors who advocate for you, mentors who stretch you, peers who share the journey, and connectors who open doors. Make sure you’re not over-relying on one group while neglecting others.
4. Invest where it multiplies
Not every relationship carries the same weight. Some people give, some take, and some create ripple effects far beyond themselves. Your job is to spot those multipliers – the connectors and brokers of opportunity – and put more energy there. Better still, learn to become one yourself by making introductions, connecting dots, and passing opportunities along.
5. Start with your goal and work backwards
You can’t be strategic if you don’t know your objectives. Do you want senior sponsorship inside your company? Industry credibility? A client pipeline? Write down one networking goal for the next 12 months. Then ask: Do I need more visibility to get there, or more access? Or both? That answer tells you where to start.
Visibility: being seen in the right places
Access is important, because you need people who’ll answer your email, give advice, or open a door. But visibility matters just as much because if people don’t know you exist, they can’t promote you, recommend you, or bring you into the room.
The mistake is leaving visibility to chance, for example by speaking up only occasionally in a meeting, posting online once in a blue moon, or hoping an odd panel appearance keeps you memorable.
Strategic visibility means being deliberate about where and how you show up. Depending on your goals, you need to choose your arenas. If you’re looking for senior sponsorship inside your company, town halls and cross-functional projects matter more than chasing likes on LinkedIn. But if you want industry credibility, you might want to focus on conferences, panels, or thought leadership instead.
Visibility also means being remembered. Decide which two or three strengths or ideas you want associated with your name, and reinforce them every time you show up.
And visibility builds through rhythm. One thoughtful contribution in your community, one short LinkedIn post a week, or one sharp question at a town hall. It doesn’t need to be grand, but it does need to be steady.
Finally, stretch yourself. Say yes to projects that put you in front of others: presenting updates, leading a team, representing your department. These moments will help connect your name to work that matters.
The balance is clear: visibility gets you noticed, while access is what makes people act on your behalf. Without visibility, access shrinks to a tiny circle, but without access, your visibility is superficial. Strategic networking means intentionally building both.
Accessibility: networking with senior leaders
The stakes often feel highest when reaching out to senior people. These are the ones who can unlock opportunities, enhance your reputation, and sponsor your next step.
Our default is often to avoid them, thinking “They’re too busy”, or to go in too heavy with a vague ask like, “Can I pick your brain?” Neither works.
Start light. Don’t open with “Will you be my mentor?” That feels too heavy and one-sided. Build a relationship first. Share your reaction to something they said, thank them for an idea that helped you. A few small touchpoints of respect eventually start to add up.
Second, respect their time because senior people hate vague asks and never start a cold approach with a question. Think of that trust account: start with deposits before you make withdrawals. Once some trust exists, then you can ask something specific and easy to answer.
Third, add to the relationship. Even across a status gap, you can contribute: share an observation from the ground, let them know how their idea shaped your work, echo their point in a meeting and give them credit. And do this without expecting anything in return.
Finally, seek natural settings. Cold outreach can be hard, especially by email. It’s easier to connect in spaces where the hierarchy feels a little softer: project teams, offsites, alumni groups, industry dinners. In those settings, you meet as people, not just job titles.
The point is simple: don’t see senior leaders as gatekeepers to impress or extract from. See them as potential allies who remember those who added value, not those who showed up with demands.
Conclusion: you can smell intent
Even after all this, some of you will still feel uneasy. “It still sounds transactional. It still feels like climbing the pole. I don’t want to be that person.”
And you’re right. Networking feels dirty because we’ve all seen it done badly: the relentless self-promoter, the opportunist who only shows up when they need something, the person who flatters their way up the ladder. Nobody wants to be that person, and you don’t have to be.
Strategic networking isn’t about schmoozing. It’s about building an ecosystem of trust around the work you care about. It’s about curiosity and actually wanting to understand people. It’s about consistency and showing up long before you need anything. And it’s about contribution and adding value in ways that make others stronger, not just yourself.
If you’re still worried about being seen as a climber, remember this: people can smell intent. If your intent is self-serving, you will come across as slimy. But if your intent is to invest, contribute, and grow together, you won’t look like you’re climbing. You’ll look like you’re connecting and adding value.
That’s the only kind of networking worth doing.
So here’s the tough question: Is your network designed for the career you have or the career you want? If it’s the former, you’re leaning too much on safe, familiar contacts. If it’s the latter, you’re already being intentional, reaching into the circles that will shape your future.
Answering that question honestly could completely change how you see your relationships.
